I Married Myself


In the summer of 2012 I got married, on the beach at sunset.  I had only one guest with me– a woman I cared very much for.   I did not marry her, I married me.  I was ready to commit for life to myself.  I was ready to promise to Love, Honour and Cherish me.  Forever.  It was time.  I was 56 years old. It was one of the pivotal moments of my life and I loved every second.

It is not that I have never been married.  In fact I have been married a few times before and who knows?  I might do it again but this one is forever.  This is a commitment to love, honour and cherish myself.  In all future relationships, I will put myself in a place of importance and of value.

If by different, you mean awesome
If by different, you mean awesome

We started the afternoon with a little shopping and then an early wedding supper at one of my favourite “all you can eat sushi” restaurants located in Toronto’s annex.  We were meeting another close friend and would share my wedding plans with her.  Dinner was delicious and we laughed and enjoyed the whole idea that soon I would be marrying myself on the shore of Lake Ontario.

not actually buying a wedding dress....but having some shopping fun
not actually buying a wedding dress….but having some shopping fun
and of course, a wedding bouquet
and of course, a wedding bouquet

My companion and now wedding planner and wedding photographer guided me in building a circle of stones drawing on Indigenous practice.  I chose 16 large stones for my circle.  Each stone represented something in the tradition of the medicine wheel.  She explained the meaning of each stone.

Feeling powerful and committed
Feeling powerful and committed

After I built my wedding circle, I chose to use the lake as my Mikvah ( a ritual cleansing bath from my Jewish practice).    In Judaism, our tradition teaches that impurity can be relieved by immersion into any body of natural flowing water.  I completely immersed myself 3 times as the sun set and the sky darkened.  I sang the Shekianu – Boruch ata, Adonai, Elohanu Melach Ha’olam. Shehekianu, vikimanu, vihigianu, lazman ha ze, Amen – a blessing for a special or new occasion.  My companion had placed burning incense upon the stones at each of the directions – north, east, south and west. I changed into an off white gauzy dress that I had bought in Aghios Nikolas, Crete the summer before.



When I came out of the lake, I entered the circle.  With tears streaming down my cheeks, I said my vows.  I promised to always love me, to be good to Me, to hold Me, to realize that I am never alone because I have Me.  I promised to protect Me and care for Me.

That night I committed to wearing a ring that I had bought  in Eilat on the Red Sea.  I had gone away that weekend on a getaway – yes, alone. A much needed getaway from activism and a few unhealthy relationships.  I traveled on an overnight bus from Haifa across the desert.  I bought myself this beautiful silver ring with crystals, delicious perfume, and ate great food and drank lots of wine.  I swam in the sea and walked along the shore.  This ring – 6 years later, became my wedding ring.

We finished my wedding night drinking gin and lemonade on the beach under the stars and honouring this momentous occasion of independence and self loving.

On this Summer Solstice…do you want to dance?

Mmmmm, that type of morning where you wake up refreshed after a great night’s sleep (7-8 hours) excited to start your day with anticipation.  I had a delicious breakfast of steel cut oatmeal made with lavender flowers and cinnamon and topped with fresh blueberries and strawberries with almond milk.  I had my one cup of coffee (cutting back from 2) and then danced for 30 minutes.

oatmeal and coffee
Steel cut oatmeal and coffee. Wow!!



Today is the Summer Solstice and it is my favorite day of the year.  A day I always celebrate with family and friends.  Today is extra special because my darling grandson Oscar is coming to visit and we are having our first sleepover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yowza!!!!

I love to celebrate the summer solstice beside the water
I love to celebrate the summer solstice beside the water

Just as I suspected, this healing journey I began, is not going to be an easy one.  I remain committed to it.  I have stopped taking my diabetic medication but I am still taking the ones for high blood pressure.  I am going to concentrate on one problem at a time.  My blood sugar remained stable for the first 2 weeks but has crept up a bit for the past 4 days.  We have added a tea to drink daily along with my Chinese herbs and monthly acupuncture treatment. I don’t love exercise.  I would much rather read a book or even watch a marathon on Netflix –Orange is the New Black, anyone? I know that I have to get moving, keep moving, move faster and make it a life habit.  I am totally committed to this.

Emily Babaris, my Traditional Chinese Medicine Practitioner recommends that I exercise in some way every day for at least 30 minutes.  She said walking, swimming, dancing, yoga – something every day.  These are my choices but you might enjoy something else and that is good too.  I do walk everyday for at least a few kilometres – just part of not having a car and using public transit.  I really love not having a car (healthy, carefree choice for me and environmentally friendly) and using the Toronto transit system (TTC).  I have a monthly pass that is delivered to my home by Canada Post.  My payment is withdrawn monthly from my bank account.  Easy, unlimited travel in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA)…..perfect!

Emily Babaris, R.TCMP, R.Ac, BES, received her Doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) certificate in Victoria, BC.

Ok back to exercise (see how easily I get off topic on that one– I knew I wouldn’t stay committed to a class or even going to a gym or a pool.  Pooh! I am just lazy and hate to leave home soooooooooooo…….I know that I love music and that there have been many songs over the years that made me smile and made me just want to dance.  I decided to make a workout playlist on Youtube.  I added songs that inspire me to move.  I am sure everyone has songs like this.  My latest is Happy by Pharrell Williams – it makes me smile, makes me happy and inspires me to dance.  I love Cyndi Lauper, The Divinyls, KT Tunstall, Men Without Hats, The Beach Boys and on and on.  I add music to my list all the time. I always do lots of sun salutations and smile on each one.  This is the way to start to the day.  When I was in Provence last month, I found myself outside dancing and kept going for an hour!!!  I also have a couple of yoga workouts that I have been using (also on youtube).  I discovered “Yoga with Adrienne”.  I like her routines especially the one for beginners and another one for weight loss.  I also intend to add swimming this summer (once it really warms up) at the outdoor pool on the Beach near Woodbine.  I am told these pools are free….what a bonus that is and I am excited to get started a few days a week. The pool opened last weekend.  Check out a pool near you on the Toronto Parks and Recreation website or call 311 for information.


I love swimming in the lake near Leuty Lighthouse on a very hot summer day