SandraLaya Ruch, Kohenet (Hebrew Priestess) is a Motivational Speaker, Teacher, Life Cycle Officiant and Healer.
For 3 decades SandraLaya Ruch has been inspiring women to live their lives to the fullest. She is a firm believer that anything is possible and each of us must dare to dream. She encourages women not be held hostage to our victim story but to use our survival as a reminder of our strength and possibilities.
Her workshops are especially popular in women and family centres for both clients and staff. She ran a women’s program at Merrymount Children’s Centre for many years. She has facilitated workshops for organizations including the Oneida Nation of the Thames is an Onyota'a:ka First Nations band, Association of Iroquois and Allied Indians (AIAI), Women’s Community House, Second Stage Housing, and Child Reach.
SandraLaya is a deeply committed activist and advocate to the rights of women and children. She retired recently, after almost a decade as the National Coordinator of Canadian Voice of Women for Peace (VOW). VOW is the only national Feminist peace organization in Canada. She has lived in conflict areas, working with International Feminist organizations. As a result of her human rights advocacy, she has been arrested and detained several times both abroad and in Canada. She has spoken about her experiences to audiences across Canada and Internationally.
For 2 ½ years SandraLaya volunteered with Isha L’Isha – Haifa Feminist Coalition and as a result was chosen to be the keynote speaker at a Human Trafficking Conference in Boston, MA organized by the Washington based group FAIR Fund and the National Women Law Students' Association at Suffolk University Law School.
She is currently enrolled in a clergy ordination program to become a Kohenet (Hebrew Priestess). SandraLaya is a Life Cycle Officiant, a Healer working in several modalities including Reflexology and Aromatherapy, a blogger, and motivational speaker.
Both a Mother and Grandmother, SandraLaya raised her daughters independently facing many of the struggles familiar to single parents. She is no stranger to domestic violence and the dangers that women experience in a patriarchal society.
“We must look for the opportunities waiting for us”. SandraLaya Ruch
Well, it has been quite a while since I had the motivation to share the thoughts constantly streaming in my very active brain. You know the ongoing dialogue that interrupts all the attempts at meditation and the “what I think are brilliant ideas” that come to me while I am out walking. Yes, the ones that I never remember when I get home.
I am back on track with my healthy life style plan and the best plan of action for me is to share and to have my family and friends (and readers) keep me real. I have read that this works for some and not for others but it is always a great idea for me. I was being very strict with myself in the weeks prior to my doctor’s appointment mid January. I then was a little more lenient in the past 2 weeks – no weight gain but no weight loss either.
I like to use the old weight watchers plan –pre 2010. It is the best one for me – only some vegetables are free points and everything else needs to be weighed and calculated. It has worked every time for me and I have been so blessed to not gain anything back since 2004 when I first put it into use. I managed to drop another 15 pounds since last August and then plateaued. I think it is time to put more exercise in the mix at least 3 days a week and walk for nothing less than a half hour on the other days. I have lost 80 pounds in total so far – 20 more to go.
For me the best diet secret is just not to have the bad stuff in the house. I am watching my sugar intake so I have pretty much eliminated packaged foods (maybe a package of Ryvita crackers once in a while), removed the maple syrup, divide my meat in portions before I put it in the freezer as well as removing fat and skin ( too tempting when you are cooking at 5pm and already hungry), and stocking the freezer with frozen vegetables that are easy to cook in a hurry or when I need to snack. My favourite go-to splurge is all you can eat sushi every few weeks.
If you want to try the very old weight watcher’s plan without the expense you can try this resource and you can calculate your point value here. You can also find the value of thousands of food right here. On the old system you can calculate your point allotment here.
I am inspired to keep this up because my last Doctor’s appointment was successful. All my numbers were on the decline! Yup, cholesterol, blood sugar – everything – the doctor was very pleased and won’t see me again for 6 months. I want to reach my goal weight of 150 pounds by then. It’s important for me to talk numbers and I wish more of us did. I am certain that if I knew that so many women weighed in the same range as me, I wouldn’t have felt like the biggest one around. I wish that I had that measuring stick instead of the chart that said I was supposed to weigh 130 when my starting point was 160. I had no idea that a size 14 was average.
I started losing weight in 2004 – dropped 35 pounds – felt fabulous and svelt and didn’t try to lose again until my diagnosis with Type 2 Diabetes. I then dropped another 20 and was able to go without medications for another 2 years. Last year my numbers were escalating and I am now on a few medications that are working well. For those of you familiar with Diabetic medication – Metformin does not work for me – the side effects leave my joints sore and stiff and cause a lot of digestive problems. I recommend not relying on your family physician but getting an Endocrinologist as soon as you are diagnosed. I am taking 2 new medications – Trajenta and Jardiance. They are working for now but my goal is once again to be medication free. That is why I am working so hard! I continue to have a monthly acupuncture treatment and to take my Chinese Herbs daily.
It’s all about health and healing. I am committed to this journey. Help keep me honest. I love sharing recipes and food ideas, exercise plans and anything that has been successful. I wish I knew all this when I was younger and I wish that I put a stop to the slow weight gain of 5 pounds every year but there is no sense in crying over that spilled milk. I am sure there are a lot of important lessons in it all. At least I know that being overweight did not stop me from doing anything – EVER!
Sandra Ruch was awesome. She started off by sending us a bunch of possibilities for the ceremony, and we chose what to include and what not to include. It was really well-suited to us. She was also very warm and lovely. Everybody was very impressed With the ceremony. The groom is Deaf and very shy. She did a wonderful job of making him feel comfortable. There are so many people registered on the Internet, it was a bit overwhelming until we found you. Your list of officiants that gave a little information on them all was very very helpful. And interviewing two also worked well for us. They both seemed amazing. But we picked the one whose lips Dale could read best.
Thank you Sandra (Ruch) for your professionalism. It was a pleasure to have you as our officiant to the start of our life together. Sandra had a gently personality, dressed very professional and had great shoes. We have nothing to say except great things.
Sandra Ruch went beyond our expectations, she was kind and really guided us through the entire process. I have already had numerous people reach out to me asking for Sandra’s information – she was a huge hit. Sandra was truly magnificent. She was accommodating with us being out of province, she provided so much guidance in the process and really gave us a warm feeling. She has the combination of a really heartfelt smooth tone with genuine excitement and love when performing your service. We would recommend her to all.
Sandra Ruch was our Reflexologist for 10 years. My husband and I valued her care and both experienced benefit from her visits. My husband has arthritis in his feet and reflexology particularly helped him with that pain. We found Sandra compassionate, caring and friendly and were sorry when she moved away from our area.
Sandra ran a series of workshops from reflexology to aromatherapy for the women of our community. She has such a warm positive aura about her and the women immediately took to her and her teachings. Her knowledge about holistic healing through natural remedy was embraced by many members of the community and she has become a valuable resource for future programming.
Sandra led an inspiring group at a non-profit organization, which involved creating vision books. Sandra was able to engage all of the participants in a friendly and empathic manner. Creating the vision books proved to be a very motivating exercise for the participants – Sandra was an excellent facilitator. Thank you!
I am so intrigued by all the opportunities to work online and to work away. I have been exploring these possibilities for quite a while now. I am so inspired by friends who have chosen to work abroad teaching and others who are house sitting, pet sitting, renting out their own places, doing home exchanges and more. I was fortunate to live in the Middle East for 2 years teaching English and writing grants for a few non-governmental organizations. I also had a chance to work on a project in Greece for 6 months. These opportunities were private ones that I found but if are considering house or pet sitting you might want to check out TrustedHousesitters.
Did you ever watch the film “The Holiday” with Cameron Diaz and Kate WInslett ? The lead characters advertise online for a house swap. Watch the trailer here. Maybe it will inspire the adventurer inside you? Check out HomeExchange.
My plan for retirement is to put these many ideas into practice. The list of possibilities is endless. I am hoping that we will continue to add to the list and share our successes and failures.
I have been teaching English as a second language online for a few years now. I really enjoy it and find it is quite simple and very satisfying. Many companies like the one I work for provide the entire lesson plan so that there is minimal preparation. I have been working as a supply teacher up to now and just this week began with ongoing classes. Previously (before retirement) my income from teaching was just a supplement to a regular salary but now I am more dependent on it. Here is a link to many online teaching jobs.
Need to rent out your home? There are countless ideas from AirBnB to countless Facebook groups and also SabbaticalHomes . You will probably find more on Craigslist and Kijiji as well. However, it is important to do your homework, that means research and asking questions. This is as complicated or even more complicated than online dating. Be careful, be smart, be diligent. I suggest asking friends for recommendations and using sites that offer ratings on both the traveller and the advertiser.
It is a good idea to join groups of travellers which you will find on Facebook and other social media platforms.
The ideas are only limited to your imagination. Dare to dream. Where would go? What have you done?
editor’s note: We are not endorsing any of the mentioned websites. These are simply ideas to get you started.
Ok, time to fess up. I am not really old enough to retire. There is no trust fund, no inheritance, no alimony, no lucrative work pension, no brilliantly planned retirement savings account. Really there is nothing, nada, zero, empty, kaput! It simply was time to live that life I have been talking about for years….working at what you love so that you never work another day in your life. How do I plan to do this.
I don’t want to go to an office every day. I don’t want a boss. I want to be able to travel. I want time to work at things that just simply bring me joy. I love writing and that is where this blog comes in. I get an idea (actually about a million of them swimming around in my head) and then I write and then I am almost euphoric. When my writing resonates with a reader I am totally euphoric, over the moon, filled with joy!!! I absolutely love creating ritual and officiating at ceremonies – Weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Baby Namings, even sad occasions like Funerals and UnbindingCeremonies. This is my happy place…true fulfillment.
About 20 years ago, I created a series of workshops to help women explore who they are and who they want to be. I absolutely loved this work and I dreamed of a time that these workshops and talks would be the centre of life. Time flies by and dreams sometimes get lost or put on hold. Now is the time and tomorrow is too late.
So here I am at 61 years old and starting a whole new life plan! How freaking amazing is that? I have a busy schedule set up for myself. Early in the morning I start by teaching English to children in China for a couple of hours. Then, breakfast and catching up on emails, social media and my website to see what needs to be done. I work until noon, then lunch and then a healthy activity. While I am house sitting near the ocean that means walking, swimming and biking everyday for at least an hour. When I am in Toronto, I am committing to the same schedule. We have wonderful community centres with swimming pools and gyms that cost very little and there are discounts for seniors, students, unwaged, low income and more.
Does this appeal to you? You must start with lists – lists of things you cannot live without. What is the absolute minimum that you could live with satisfactorily? What is a list with all your wishes and dreams? Take time to prepare these lists and edit and edit and edit until you know what you want and what you need. Next, a list of what type of work would make you feel fulfilled and contented. It might be what you are doing now or something so far away from that it might surprise even you. What do you know how to do? What are your skills? What do you do that fills you with joy? Meditate and dream on your lists.
The first step for me was starting the plan. I gave my notice to my employer last January (8 months). I started planning what the next steps would look like. I read that if you want to be in a new place next year, you must do 365 things toward that goal and so I started. Step by step, slowly, slowly and you can get there. The next big move was becoming a client of Women on the Move (WOM) and working closely with Heather Gamble to develop a plan for success. WOM incubates women entrepreneurs. It is a sisterhood of women who are motivated for change.
I invite everyone to evaluate your life – are you doing what makes you happy? Are you creating a lifestyle that suits you? Are chasing your dream or are you actually chasing someone else’s? Are you working to live or living to work? There are many seasons to our lives….in our 20’s, in our 30’s, 40’s, 50’s….different goals and different needs. What is it you want to change and what will you do every day to get there?
I’ve been thinking a lot lately (always) about food, about dieting, about weight. The reality of being 60 means a lot of history to contend with and a lot of struggles to sort out. I am back on medication for Type 2 Diabetes and Hypertension. For 2 fabulous years, I was able to maintain normal levels with Chinese Medicine but rising levels meant seeing a specialist and mainstream, western medication. Now I am committed to exercise and losing another 25 pounds to be able to take the least amount of medication possible.
I want to talk about my story with weight, with body image, and with insecurities. When I was 13 years, I went away to summer camp where the camp nurse weighed each of us. I stood innocently on the scale and weighed in at 160 pounds. The nurse reacted with a Wow! Or something similar to that. I think she told me it was too much. I was overweight. That was the only beginning. I remember being a very lonely child. My dad was strict and I wasn’t allowed the same freedoms that my brothers had. I had to come in before dark and sleepovers were not allowed. I had a friend who lived across the street – Karen. She always seemed so normal – typical……just what I dreamed of being. We stopped at the grocery store near our school a couple of times and bought a chocolate bar. I thought I was so cool!! I told my Mom and I saw her face fall. I knew she was thinking that I was too fat to be eating a chocolate bar. Now I knew I was fat…fatter than the other kids…the fattest….the big one. Different, the odd one….the fat, Jewish one. D.i.f.f.e.r.e.n.t. and that was the beginning of a life time of dieting.
In my teen years I tried a few very weird diets. One day I ate only bananas and almost fainted in gym class. Gym class – now that is a whole story in itself. I always felt fat and awkward and clumsy. I was sure that all the other girls were athletic. I do remember thinking I was a great soccer goalie well, until half the girls on the other team came crashing and kicking at me! I dreaded gym from day 1 until I finally could drop it as a course in Grade 10 when it was no longer mandatory. My favourite teenage diet and one I often did was 500 calories a day eaten in 2 meals. Each meal allowed a half piece of bread, 1 cup of salad with no dressing, 3 ounces of meat or fish and 1 apple. Great diet for a growing teenager! I would usually keep this regime Monday through Friday and eat normally on the weekend. On this diet you should lose a pound per day they proclaimed. I usually lost a pound or 2 a week. I once asked my Mother to show me how big a pound was and she took out a pound of butter from the fridge. That was my go to image each time I lost some weight.
At 19 and madly in love, I ran into some relationship problems. I couldn’t eat. I was heartbroken. My boss used to ask in the morning if I had eaten anything and send me to the cafeteria for tea and toast that I usually threw up after eating. Lunch was cup-of-soup, an apple or some popcorn and dinner wasn’t much better. I often had a few crackers with some dip. The weight was falling off and I was at my lowest weight of 150 pounds. Only 10 pounds lighter than my normal weight of the past 6 years but of course, everyone said how great I looked and I felt like a super model. 150 pounds was still 30 pounds over the weight the charts told me I should be at. I got married in this time and had some very beautiful photos taken. I knew that the long white dress hid my curves and the beautiful face shots hid the body.
Sandra at 20 years old and 155 pounds. Indian Rocks Beach, Florida
I don’t remember my husband ever telling me I was beautiful or sexy or openly admiring my body. I didn’t have a lot of money to buy really trendy clothing. Clothing is a very important part of this narrative and one I have been thinking of a lot. When I was around 12 years old, my mother took me shopping at Curls in Moncton, N.B. , an independent store for mature women and definitely not for teens. She bought me several new dresses. The sales woman was my aunt. Both my Mom and Aunt were in their 50s by then. When I got home and we showed the new clothes to my dad, I remember him telling Mom the clothes were too old for me and Mom saying that younger clothes didn’t fit me. When I was old enough to shop for myself, I remember struggling to find jeans in size 14 and later size 16. I was a travel consultant at Eaton’s Travel and we wore uniforms from Eatons. I couldn’t find a suit to fit so I had to have mine custom made. Fortunately, the Ports’ blouses fit my corpulent size 16 body. When I was 30 years old and still wearing size 16, I was a manager of a large women’s clothing store, Fairweather, and rarely found clothes that fit me. We were supposed to wear only Fairweather clothes. I often had to find something similar in another store. Although, a solution always was possible, I was always aware that I wasn’t an “average” size.
Over the next 15 years, I gained 50 pounds at 5 pounds per year until I reached 255 and a size 24. I was fulfilling my self-proclaimed prophecy as a fat woman. However, I always felt that I looked good. People always told me that I was beautiful…they loved my clothes….copied my style…told me I flowed when I walked…told me I was sexy….saw me as a trendsetter. I did some plus size modeling. I dated…I had confidence…turned a few heads when I entered a room but deep down, I knew that I was the fattest one! At least, that was the old and ugly tape going on in my head.
Modeling profile side 2
At 45 years old, after years of weight gain and then years of maintaining my weight, I started dieting again using the Weight Watchers plan. I couldn’t afford their program so I got their books from my size 0 zero (and lifelong Weight Watcher member) and taught myself the program.
I don’t remember what motivated me to make that commitment. After losing 35 pounds, I thought about how my role as a mother was changing. My daughters were leaving home for university and no longer needed me to be to be 2 parents or needed me to protect them. I wondered if my subconscious realized that my warrior/protector role was changing and I didn’t need to be so “big and strong”. I got smaller through diet and daily exercise. I walked the 6 km to work and back. I then started biking to work and in the first week dropped 7 pounds. I hit a plateau at 217 pounds and I felt like a little mini. It was exciting. I dropped 3 sizes and felt so healthy. I maintained that weight for the next 10 years. It took me a long time to realize I was actually no longer a size 24 – I once went in a fitting with size 24 pants that fell off me. My daughters both told me they thought I had a touch of body dysmorphia (might be a bit of a stretch) but the truth is, I always subconsciously, saw myself as the biggest one in room.
In the past 2 years, I have dropped another 40 pounds. I am now 175 pounds. This was my weight in my 30’s and I have really been working on seeing my body as it really is. As I mentioned earlier, I have been struggling with health issues – hypertension and type 2 diabetes. These problems can be genetic – my father, my grandfather, my grandmother, mother and brother have had one or both. However, all I hear is OBESE, caused by OBESITY….ringing painfully in my head. I also believe that if I lose another 25 pounds, I will miraculously be cured. I will be the picture of health.
I remember an experience with a OB/Gyn during my first pregnancy. His “bedside” manner with me was never that good- although he had been recommended by several of my friends. I was never sure what the problem was but at one of the Jewish holidays, I asked him if I should fast. He said no, but that didn’t mean I should be eating Cheetos in the synagogue!! After a few more rude comments, I decided to move on to another physician. His nurse told me that the only other time a patient complained she also was overweight. I was 5’3” and weighed 190 pounds. When I was living in Haifa, I had a knee injury and went to the hospital where the doctor asked me to raise my skirt so she could see the knee. She literally gasped and said, “I didn’t realize you were obese!!” Can I just say, Yowza….what the hell was that?
I have always loved my body….I like looking in the mirror. I actually admire my luscious although downward facing breasts, my rounded hips, my full and juicy belly. I really wish we saw more photos of all body types and I really hope we all continue this conversation. This isn’t an issue particular to men or women. It is a struggle all around. I have loved and enjoyed many body types.
I wanted to share this story today. We are talking a lot about fat shaming, loving all body types and then the issues around health and wellness. When I openly refer to myself as fat these days, I am reclaiming myself. I am not shaming myself. I am saying openly….this is who I am and I like it! I am a voluptuous, big, bold and beautiful womyn! I am hoping that you will share your stories with me. I am hoping that you will stand in the mirror and say with passion and love…..I love me!!!!!!!
Sixty in the City 
Sandra Ruch was our Reflexologist for 10 years. My husband and I valued her care and both experienced benefit from her visits. My husband has arthritis in his feet and reflexology particularly helped him with that pain. We found Sandra compassionate, caring and friendly and were sorry when she moved away from our area.
Irene Barker
London, Ontario